I'm BACK!

And better than ever. It's been a busy few months for me, and I've got a lot in the works at the moment. It's time for my blog to catch up with my life. First and foremost:

I'm proud to announce that I'm launching my first line of products for sale by Wood + Fabric!! I troll fabric stores on a regular basis, and a few months ago some plaid fabric caught my eye. Now let me tell you about these plaids. Plaids like this should not be hidden on the bottom rack in the back of a fabric warehouse. Plaids like this cannot be forgotten. Plaids like this should be shown off! This is the little bit of awesomeness that adds uniqueness, color and pattern to your outfit!
And so the idea for these accessories were born. But, of course, I procrastinated for a few months until a friend called me a couple of weeks ago asking me to do a joint application with her to the Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn. I whipped these babies up in two days, did a photoshoot on the third day (pictures coming Friday!!), and submitted the application the next. (I told you I work well with deadlines). We're currently on the waiting list for the Renegade Craft Fair, but I'm finally ready to put this business together and get a shop running. Wood + Fabric is offering  neckties, bowties, handkerchiefs, pocket squares, headbands, clothes/hair clips, and belts that will be available for sale on my etsy shop by the end of April! I'm soo excited about this first step!! There's still a LOT of work to be done before my official launch date, but everything has been coming together so smoothly so far!!

More updates coming soon, but for now here's a peek at the photoshoot:

Goals - Another Thing to Try

When brainstorming my 2011 Resolutions, I stopped for a minute and asked myself,

"Why do I want to accomplish these things?". 

I realized that a key factor in success is having good reasons to accomplish what you're working on. When we understanding fully the purpose of an action, and what that action will bring to you, it's easier to find the motivation to perform it. As a child, I always wished my parents had explained why I had to brush my teeth twice a day, and why I had to eat my peas. If I had connected these mundane actions with a beautiful smile and a healthy body, I probably wouldn't have complained. In the same way, if I make the advantages of my goals obvious to me, it will be easier to put in the work it takes to achieve it. I hope this makes my 2011 resolutions easier!

GOAL!!!!

2010 New Year's Resolutions - A Review

I started out this year full of ambition. There were a lot of things I wanted to improve about my life, a lot of things I wanted to improve about myself, and I wanted to have a lot of fun! I had a total of 42 (!) New Year's Resolutions, separated into 6 categories. Some were required on-going effort (like read more, and eat more protein); others were easy to accomplish (like get Mom to visit me in Chicago, and get a pet - ended up being a fish!); others still were simply fun (listen to new music). I accomplished 31 of them. I'm not going to go into detail with all of my resolutions, but I will share what I learned about goal setting, and accomplishing. 


What I did Right:

1. I was ambitious! There's a quote that says that we overestimate what we can do in a day, but we underestimate what we can do in a year. A year is a long time, with plenty of opportunities to accomplish our goals. Writing down everything I hoped to achieve felt great, even though I knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish it all. Writing it all down gave me a clear picture of where I hoped to be at the end of the year. It made me excited to jump in and work on it all!
2. I was specific with my goals. For every single goal, I had a specific benchmark to measure it. "Eat more protein" meant to eat at least one serving of beans, lentils or eggs each day (I'm vegetarian). 
3. I was realistic with each goal. My goal for "read more" was to read at least 1 hour a week (or one book a month). I set the bar low on that one because I hadn't been an active reader since high school, but I knew that if I read consistently, my love for books would resurface and take off! And it worked - I now read during every lunch break (5 hrs/week), and I carry a book everywhere, so it adds up! Twice I've gotten so engrossed in reading that I finished a book cover-to-cover in two days.
4. I kept a reminder of my goals. I kept my list of New Year Resolutions posted on my closet door. I saw it every day as a reminder, and I actively read it about 6-10 times during the year. Having it posted prevented me from "burning out" by February.
5. I had fun! One of my favourite resolutions this year was to listen to new music. I had realized that a lot of my music collection was from 2008 or before, back when I worked at a Music Listening Lounge in college. Since then I hadn't listened to a lot of new stuff. This goal was easy to accomplish, encouraged me to reach out to my music-loving friends, and made my commute so much more fun! 

What I did Wrong:

1. I didn't pace myself. I tried to tackle all my goals at once in January, got lazy over the summer, then tried to play catch-up from October-December. This doesn't work. In order to keep up with my ambitious New Year's Resolutions, I have to work consistently. 
2. Didn't share my goals. I told my parents and a close friend or two that I had 42 resolutions, but I didn't tell them what they were. If I had told them what I was working for, they would have been able to support me, encourage me, and help me push on! 

Improvements for 2011:

1. Translate my resolutions into monthly goals. It takes about a month to make or break a habit. I've always known this, and my previous attempts at goal setting were always based on choosing 1-3 manageable goals each month and focusing on that. 42 is a large number to juggle. For 2011 I will choose only one or two habit-based goal to focus on each month. And I'll choose which month I'll be focusing on which goal ahead of time, because I know if I don't it'll never happen. In the past I've always chosen goals from different categories each month. For example, I'll choose one health goal (eat protein, drink water, exercise more), and one other goal (floss 2x/day; bike more; pack lunch for work; go to sleep earlier, etc).
2. Find support in others. I probably won't tell anyone all my goals - who can handle that much information? - but for every goal I will find someone who can support me, and hopefully offer me advise. This year I'm hoping to pay off my car, and my dad'll be the one to help me with that. I also want to dress better, and I have some very stylish friends to go shopping with me, and give me tips on outfits & accessories. There's also a TON of help online for all types of goals, so if I don't know someone personally for a goal, I can still get guidance.
3. Make a visual inspiration collage. The list on my door was great, but a visual display would be much better. It will help me visualize what accomplishment will feel and look like, helping me keep my motivation burning strong!

(when i allow my heart to write, i write in phrases)

Letters from ex-lovers.
Books about lonely children without proper parents.
The Middle East (band).
New love interests.
Heart-to-hearts with roommates.

It's an emotional night for me.

If feels so good to feel. 


Sometimes life trips me, tearing my protective cocoon and exposing me to the wind. It's like my senses are on fire. I've been stripped down and the wind is so much colder without my clothes on. The lemon juice stings so much more without skin to protect me. It's an awareness. A blissful connection to the world, to people's experiences, to feelings that others feel. In this state, I feel them too. As if my senses have been awakened, pulled out of hibernation, protective slumber, and I feel everything so much deeper. Often it's sadness - sorrow for the children who never had parents that cared, tenderness for the singer's lyrics, empathy for the ex that loves me so, regret for not returning those emotions - but in these moments, this deep piercing sadness feels so good. For it's more than sadness; it's a connection. It's a connection to people I once knew, to people I'll never meet, to characters that don't exist. It's easy to distance ourselves from people. We silently ride the bus amidst dozens of strangers. We cautiously avoid personal conversations with co-workers. We consider the cute shoes we've been lusting after, rather than the servers whose livelihood depends on the generosity of our tips. But on an evening like this, I feel everything. And I'm blissfully connected.

HOORAY for Woodworking Classes!!!

As a holiday gift, my mother is paying the tuition for woodworking classes at...

They have talented instructors that make things like this:

Ooooo I'm so excited!!! I'll learn about all the hand and power tools, how to use them safely, how to make different joints and cuts, and I'll even build an end table, a shelving unit and a retro toolbox in the course - with all materials included!!! YOWZA!

Meet Herbie

Yes, I name my plants.

This little guy sits on my desk in my office. Several times a week I find myself marveling at its shiny new leaves, and filled with pride for its growth. It's a kind of fulfillment that I've never experienced in any other aspect of my life - how often have I been responsible to keep something alive? It's really not a big accomplishment; I just happened to choose a plant that grows quickly and easily. I realized today that if a simple plant can fill me with such pride and love, then I can't possibly imagine the pride and love that a parent must feel.
I've never really wanted to have children. To be honest, it's mainly because I'm selfish, and I'd prefer my life to revolve around me instead of a child. I also have two incredibly, incredibly, INCREDIBLY wonderful parents*, and with each passing year I gain a deeper appreciation for how much they have given to my sister and me. It's inspiring, and just thinking about how much I know they love me makes me tear up. It's also an intimidating example for a young woman as myself: could I be as great a parent as they? am I prepared to give as much of myself as they do? These questions scare me, and though I know I would measure up if I chose to be a parent, my own parent's stunning example makes me take the idea of parenthood much more seriously. But this little guy - so vibrant, so full of life, so actively growing - helps me empathize a bit more with the rewards a parent gets. And though I may never be a parent or feel that paternal pride/love, it's nice to have a meager taste of that with my little friend Herbie.

The proud smile of a parent! My sister is on the left, and I'm on the right.

*My parents were so great that they invented "Kid's Day" for us, so that we could have our special day just like Mother's and Father's Day. We would do something really fun of my sister and me's choosing, like go to a water park, six flags, the zoo, or a fun day at the beach!

Seeking Radical Change

The last time I used those three words , I changed jobs, moved apartments, and ended a long relationship that just wasn't working. This time I want it BIGGER and BETTER. 

I want to change my entire career, and move internationally. 

I've been so hesitant to say these things, because I have NO idea how to accomplish these, and no further details to elaborate upon it. But  this statement is so true, it rings down to my core! I can't deny this burning desire to explore - both the world and my potential. The other thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that the one thing I really really really want in life is

FLEXIBILITY

And family and friends and health and all that normal stuff. But flexibility to me means options, change, choice, challenge, and adventure. How can we grow if we do not submit ourselves to situations we have never experienced before? You'll notice one word that I have decidedly NOT used in this post is stability. Life isn't stagnant, and I don't wish it to be. I think stability means safety to a lot of people - a stable job/income/residence.... means there's less to worry about. You know where your next meal is coming from, and you know where you'll lay your head at night. And trust me, I've been broke and unemployed (without parental or governmental help), so I know just how comfortable stability is. But for me that's just not enough. I love the thrill of not knowing what's coming around the corner. Not knowing where you might end up, what you might do, how you might fail, who you might meet, what you may discover - that's what's REALLY exciting for me. To me, the unknown is simply an abundance of possibilities. It's something to get wildly excited about! And yes, fear is real, but it should not govern our lives. It should simply aid us make our choices smartly. I've entertained a bunch of business/career ideas and researched a bunch of working/volunteering/studying abroad programs, but I haven't found one that works for me yet. I really wanted to end this post with date for when I'll move internationally (I work well with deadlines!), but to do that confidently I'd have to do more research and a full financial review. So instead, I'll say that I'll determine my move date by the end of the year. Wish me luck!

(please excuse the camera phone photo. it's either this or your imagination!)

P.S. My alteration of the pb&j cookies worked BEAUTIFULLY!! They were the softest, chewiest cookies with a texture that shocked even me!  The first time when I followed the original recipe, my cookies didn't turn out as perfect as Alisa's (maybe because I used light sugar vs. dark? why am I only realizing this now! I should have tried that first!). They spread out a lot in the oven, and came out kind of flat. Luckily, this article about baking gave me a few ideas: I used margarine instead of butter, and used 1/4c granular sugar and 3/4c light brown sugar instead of 1/2 and 1/2. I also made a homemade pizza with dough from scratch for the first time since I hit puberty! It wasn't that great, but I'll be working on improving that soon too.